The order of the stakes of the dice game in the MahÄbhÄrata goes as follows:
1) Yudhiį¹£į¹hira stakes and loses the PÄį¹įøavasā wealth, army, empire, throne, weapons
2) Yudhiį¹£į¹hira stakes and loses the autonomy of his four younger brothers, and they are enslaved on the spot (and they submit to it)
3) Yudhiį¹£į¹hira stakes and loses his own autonomy, rendering himself enslaved (and submitting to it himself)
4) lastly, Yudhiį¹£į¹hira stakes and loses DraupadÄ«ās autonomy. The Kauravas roar in excitement, and they send a servant to fetch DraupadÄ« to the sabhÄ (the royal hall) so she can be enslaved publicly.
DraupadÄ« is absent from the sabhÄ at the time the dice game unfolds, as she is in her private chambers, menstruating. The servant comes to her and announces the outcome of the dice game. She is told that she has been ordered to present herself as a servant before the Kuru dynasty. She refuses to go, and says she wants one question to be asked to Yudhiį¹£į¹hira:
āDid you first lose yourself, or me?ā (2.60.9)
The servant returns to the sabhÄ and asks DraupadÄ«ās question to Yudhiį¹£į¹hira, who remains silent. The Kauravas become enraged by what they perceive to be DraupadÄ«ās defiance, and one of them, Duįø„ÅÄsana, goes to fetch her himself. When she still refuses to come, he grabs her by her hair, drags her to the court and molests her publicly.
However, DraupadÄ« is unbent: she delivers an incredibly powerful speech in which she continuously asserts her independence, challenges and rejects the menās claims to her freedom, questions and denies the validity of the dice game, and, ultimately, overturns its verdict. In this speech, she presents a series of arguments, and I will analyse each in a series of upcoming posts.
Her first argument is her first question, which infers that, even if Yudhiį¹£į¹hira did have any authority over her status (which she later challenges and denies as well), he lost all authority which could have been argued that he exerted over her the moment he renounced his independence. One who is not their own master cannot be the master of someone else, and one who is dependent cannot impair anotherās independence.
My MahÄbhÄrata blog: https://www.tumblr.com/musingsonthemahabharata
IG: @musingsonthemahabharata. ā¤ļøāš„
Ā from an in-the-works poem of mine entitled āMahÄrÄjƱīā, written on the last day of retreat with my beloved saį¹
gha & teacher, which culminated with an all-day intensive open to the public consisting of the exquisite Siri Jyoti PÅ«jÄ, designed by our Kavithaji’s paramÄ-guru – ÅrÄ« Amritananda Natha Saraswati of Devipuram. the pÅ«jÄ has been the most beauty my eyes have ever beheld at once.
: my first time wearing a saree with the occasion of the pÅ«jÄ, which i believe to be the most beautiful garment ever created.Ā 
Ā 
i am so, so very honoured to have my poem included in the introduction to my beloved teacher’s upcoming course, accompanying the spellbinding art created by the incredibly talented 
the painting of TÄrÄ is the creation of my friend and mentor, 
i am truly enchanted! i fell in love with Rashmi’s art while attending a life-changing retreat on the wisdom of the MahÄvidyÄs led by two brilliant beings who transformed my life, 
Ā published in the anthology “in which poetry breathes life”, 2020.
” i wrote this poem for my experimental poetry module in my final year as an undergrad, when our tutor (Polly Atkin!) invited us to view poetry as spellcraft. this exercise, along with my research into spiritual poetry at the time, inspired me to dedicate myself to constructing a lyrical, metaphysical female gaze – much needed in literature, imho.
amaryllis 