birthday dawn

i turn 24 today! 💖 23 has been a dream shaped by my Guru’s grace, whom i got to meet in-person for the first time as the pandemic eased. externally, Guru’s grace took me to places i thought i’d never see, such as the transcendental Himalayas or America, while it internally catapulted me to priorly unimagined heights of euphoria & expansion. when i look back to my young life, i glimpse a golden thread expertly weaving each fragment and pulling me to where i am now; a glimmer nestled within me, of me and yet not of me, calling to me, caring for me, polishing me, shaping me – preparing me, guiding me to the path. a glimmer, a spark; the love of the Guru. the love of Mahādevī. the love of Hari.

and so, today i am moved to share verses from a sweet song.

☁️ time, mystical time
gave me the blues and then purple pink skies
were there clues
i didn’t see?

isn’t it just so pretty to think
all along there was some
invisible string
tying You to me?

a string that pulled me…

something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
chains around my demons,
wool to brave the seasons
one single thread of gold tied me to You. ☁️

today & every day i pray to flow like the waters of the magnificent Gaṅgā Devī holding me in this photo. 💖

Guru Pūrṇimā

i’ve been quiet,
as shy as the fawn
you,
you are teaching me to roar


i’ve been compliant
i’ve stumbled through life
with two left feet
you,
you are teaching me to stand


i’ve been fearful, small
i’ve moved reluctantly
you,
you are teaching me to dance
rapturously


i’ve been ashamed,
my heart’s been shrunken
you,
you are teaching me
to burst into the light

📷: embracing my beloved teacher for the very first time! Barcelona, winter 2021. photo by Holly ♥️


clumsily,
i have shied before your love,
enchained by what i thought was darkness
etched in my reflection.
with wonder, i continuously discover
that my flaws do not faze you
and you,
you remain steady in your love.


i have allowed myself to be tamed,
but for you,
beloved teacher,
i can learn to be unbound.

~ a poem for Guru Pūrṇimā ♥️. celebrating today the love of the Guru, a love so unconditional that it rewires every inch of the being who opens to it. Śrī Gurubhyo Namah! 🙏

pūrṇam | wholeness

yesterday, we concluded three weeks of intense study at Śabda Institute. my beloved teacher, Amma (Dr. Kavitha Chinnaiyan), and her beloved teacher, Sumitji (Dr. Sumit Kesarkar), helped decode the esoteric meaning veiled within the magnificent Īśopaniṣad, and, with great expertise, made its heavy and charged verses applicable for us – as both householders and as practitioners. i was most touched by the chant’s invocation & by its teaching of wholeness, which inspired me to write a poem that i was greatly honoured to read at the beginning of our fifth class. 🧡


oṃ | pūrṇamadaḥ pūrṇamidaṃ pūrṇātpūrṇamudacyate |

pūrṇasya pūrṇamādāya pūrṇamevāvaśiṣyate ||


Oṃ is the entirety from which everything we see as parts has emerged. The whole remains whole even when a part is taken from it. The whole was born out of the whole. What appears as a part is the whole, and the leftover is whole. The whole cannot be split even when it appears so.
(translation by Sumitji).


☀️ my poem (written as a ghazal):


pūrṇam | wholeness


you were always whole
the grief on your tongue was whole


when longing cut like a knife
the woe stuck to your eyelids was whole


when anger brimmed in your belly
the burn of your cruelty was whole


when the sun washed your cheeks
the glee warming your fingertips was whole


when your heart cracked open
the light trickling through was whole


my parents named me ‘Gift of God’
what gifts are there when all’s already whole?


☀️ praṇām to our two illustrious teachers & to the vidyā they graciously transmitted to us in these three weeks. 🧡 the wonders of Śabda Institute 😊

reading my poem