i breathe, i accept my grief by téa nicolae | songs of youth

i wake up at dawn
and i find happiness
in slicing an apple
and munching on it


𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦
𝘪 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧


i find beauty
in standing barefoot in the middle of the kitchen,
feeling breadcrumbs stick
to my pinky toe
𝘪 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦
𝘪 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧
i learn there is joy in cutting tomatoes,
in making a bowl of soup,
in having my stomach full


𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦
𝘪 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧


i uncover the childish glee of
having the tip of my tongue burnt
and gratitude runs between my fingers like water
being alive is warm
there is kindness
in tuning in
and


𝘪 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦
𝘪 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵
𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧. ☼


from “at last, light: of joy”, the third section of my “songs of youth”. 🌻
{amazon u.k.: https://amzn.eu/d/0duef5g}

originally published in scan journal.

Ānanda by Téa Nicolae

*poem published in ‘get well soon’, online zine put together by Dan Power, compiled with poems of shared experience from self-isolation. i’m very honoured to be included in this collection! 🌸 the poems are soothing and they will hopefully warm many in these uncertain times 💛

i allow myself
to feel joy,
peeling carrots
with my grandmother,
stroking my nose
against my doe rabbit’s
i allow myself
to feel beauty,
adorning my neck
with rose quartz necklaces,
gazing at the night sky
sliding itself into dawn
i allow myself
to feel stillness,
laying my naked skin
in fresh lavender sheets,
placing hands on my belly,
counting eleven deep breaths
i allow myself
to feel grief,
embellishing my knees
with tears, planting kisses
on the blisters
that bejewel my skin
i allow myself
to twinkle alive,
tulle pressed
to my damp thighs,
dancing with my
hands above my head

i
allow
life
to flow
through
me

 

*ānanda is a sanskrit word that means ‘joy’, ‘bliss’ and ‘divine happiness’. 🌼 the poem was inspired by Hareesh’s words: ‘There exists the possibility for joy (ānanda) in any and every experience. By joy (ānanda) I do not mean ‘extreme happiness’, but rather a kind of deep loving acceptance of any given present-moment reality’. 🌼

*from the zine’s foreword:

‘Self-isolation is a weird contradiction – we’re separated from the world, and across the world we’re sharing an experience. When the curtains are drawn, the outside world stays outside. What this collection hopes to do is to throw those curtains open, to wave through the window. We’re sharing our experiences to prove that we’re not alone, that all of this means something.’

 

ananda

☼ i breathe, i accept my grief by téa nicolae

*here’s an optimistic poem of mine to soothe the social distancing process. ❤  along with three other poems, it was published in Scan Arts & Culture, in the section ‘Four Incantations for Loss, Joy and Love’. 

 

i wake up at dawn

and i find happiness

in slicing an apple

and munching on it

 

breathe

i accept my grief

 

i find beauty

in standing barefoot in the middle of the kitchen,

feeling breadcrumbs stick

to my pinky toe

 

i breathe

i accept my grief

 

i learn there is joy in cutting tomatoes,

in making a bowl of soup,

in having my stomach full

 

breathe

i accept my grief

 

i uncover the childish glee of

having the tip of my tongue burnt

and gratitude runs between my fingers like water

being alive is warm

there is kindness

in tuning in

 

and i breathe

i accept

my

grief. ☼