i untangle my youth by téa nicolae

*poem published and illustrated in tastzine. it was my first time having my poetry illustrated and i was over the moon ❤

 

i untangle my youth

in wild cities that make me squirm

thirstily clinging to fruit flavoured wine

and burning my tongue with round-shaped pills

 

i feel the party to my core

i dance violently

contorting my limbs

to trivial dance anthems

i throw myself against my friends’ bodies

hungry for empty affection

 

when i shut my eyes

i float

as the bass, the drums, the music

flow through my veins

and strengthen my bones

 

at closing time

we leave the dance floor holding hands

whispering untold truths

with damp cheeks

i tremble in my oversized coat

but i relish the warmth in our laced fingers

 

5:11 in the morning

we dance on the westminster bridge

spiralling in sequins,

i stretch my arms and roll my head

and the stars are closer

i twirl and i wish

i could cradle them in my hand

 

the ferris wheel glows and my friends sparkle

and i want to glue their faces to my mind

 

my best friend turns to me

sweaty,

with a glimmer in his eyes and chewing on a cigarette

“i wish my mother could be this happy”,

he says with adoration

and

i cry.