Category: poems

*poem published in flash journal

urban dictionary:

every time i feel ugly

i pull my hair out of my roots and play space monkey with the boy that lives two streets down from me

we meet in his room at 11pm, usually on tuesdays.

we order taco bell and choke each other with greasy fingers.

i find solace in his grasp

the harsher he gets, the more beautiful i am.

necks clenched, we stare in silence

and i remember the nights i spent on bathroom floors

drunk, thinking of the people that broke me.

i’d tell my boy about my bathroom nights,

but we never speak.

we just clutch our throats and collapse into each other

cat scars on our arms

lapsing back into old habits.

we spend four nights a month and forty-eight a year

gazing at our draining cheeks

and drowning into each other

i know each one of his pimples,

his chapped puckered lips,

his clumsily shaved sideburns

and the straight slope of his nose,

while he knows the mole in my left eyebrow,

he sees the cracks in my oil-based foundation

when his fingers close around my neck,

he understands me,

just like children understand the world with their hands.

when we fall into each other,

breathless

fragments of dream buzzes burning our heads,

the lack of oxygen strips our minds bare

and i am beautiful again.

*poem written as a prompt from L.C.

i

try.

i carry oversized gift bags on the bus

and hang torn earphones from my neck.

chin stuck to ice smudged windows,

i hum of make-believe merriment

and rip price tags smoothly.

i

try.

i fold myself in silk ribbons

and curl my yore in matching jumpers

i paint my face in red and green

and break two fingers flattening pink wish cards.

i crunch on gingerbread

and choke on warmth at noon.

i

try.

i eat cold pizza and squint at christmas rom-coms in the mornings

i munch on burnt popcorn and adorn plastic trees at midnights,

gracelessly.

i watch friends unwrap my presents and rest my forehead on their shoulders

how did you know?

they kiss my hair

this is the best gift i’ve ever got

i

try.

i fly home

i cry on the plane

i smile at my mother

i crumble in my room

i try.

i am insomniac and slippery

but i try.