[untitled] by téa nicolae

*poem published in The Writing Disorder. ✨

(it is spring), i miss
your damp forehead
between my shoulder blades

(i can’t bear to look at the moon again); i miss
how you used to bite my earlobe
whenever i drifted away
[or whenever i picked up
books like

the hundred thousand songs of milarepa
because
poetry more beautiful than ours
gave you a headache]

(my darling), i miss
your firm grasp
on my hips

(i’ve been sleeping on your side); i miss
how your eyes
used to                                           soften
when i sang
ballads to the                                 cosmos,
wearing your duvet as the high priestesses of athena
would have worn their robes

[and when you looked at me with adoration i felt like an enchantress    ,,,,,    dazzling, alive, fire in my belly, a daughter of the seas   ,,,,,,    and i conjured all the elements in the texture of our lips]

(i’m sorry i promised to visit but i didn’t) i miss
curling up to you
sweaty hearts pressed together,
your fingertips drawing
stars and suns on my back;;;
the night i left you
i laid awake
locking eyes with the night sky
through your half-opened window,
i was cold and
i wiped my tears on your pillow case.
at one-point i could have sworn
the sky slipped into your chamber
and laid in bed with us
and i thought
etcetera.

 

writing disorder

i untangle my youth by téa nicolae

*poem published and illustrated in tastzine. it was my first time having my poetry illustrated and i was over the moon ❤

 

i untangle my youth

in wild cities that make me squirm

thirstily clinging to fruit flavoured wine

and burning my tongue with round-shaped pills

 

i feel the party to my core

i dance violently

contorting my limbs

to trivial dance anthems

i throw myself against my friends’ bodies

hungry for empty affection

 

when i shut my eyes

i float

as the bass, the drums, the music

flow through my veins

and strengthen my bones

 

at closing time

we leave the dance floor holding hands

whispering untold truths

with damp cheeks

i tremble in my oversized coat

but i relish the warmth in our laced fingers

 

5:11 in the morning

we dance on the westminster bridge

spiralling in sequins,

i stretch my arms and roll my head

and the stars are closer

i twirl and i wish

i could cradle them in my hand

 

the ferris wheel glows and my friends sparkle

and i want to glue their faces to my mind

 

my best friend turns to me

sweaty,

with a glimmer in his eyes and chewing on a cigarette

“i wish my mother could be this happy”,

he says with adoration

and

i cry.

i untangle my youth
“This beautiful and vivid poem is by Tea Nicolae. It’s about being young and wild, and partying, and enjoying yourself just out of being yourself, right there right now.”